Fuck you, I voted.

Ahhhh yes.  Election Day.  Comes only every four years.  My favorite part of election day isn't hanging out on the couch watching the results come in, or listening to the concession speech, or any of that crap; it's watching the smug-meters shoot through the roof when people put on those stupid little "I voted" stickers.  Is there anything in this country that gives people a more undeserving sense of extreme self-satisfaction like letting the rest of the population know that they voted?  

Sure, you beat your wife, are behind on child support payments for at least 2 of your children, have recently spent time in the clink for that DUI ("the cop was a dick, dude!"), and seek every possible way to reduce your taxable income to a level where you can actually claim you nothing to the US government.  But hey, today, you're a fucking true American Hero, because you voted! You got that sticker, and more importantly, you've got the inalienable right to be that guy who has to ask everyone he comes into contact with, "hey, did you vote?"

Go fuck yourself.