What the fuck is he saying?

As I was enjoying some chinese food earlier this evening, my mind turned to what I usually think about when I'm eating cinese food:  Biz Markie's classic tune, "Chinese Food."*  I've thought about this song - more specifically, the lyrics in the song - for hours on end, and for the life of me I can't figure out how in the hell, or why in the hell, he connects anything he talks about in this song to chinese food.  Here's a quick look at the first verse and chorus:

[Verse One] 
I'ma bring it to you like this 
Drop a three pointer from the corner like swish 
Walk around with a name belt and a funky new rap 
Shell tops new and Space Invaders cap 
Old school like, bread and gravy 
Me and Monty roll together like Fred and Grady 
Ain't, nothin you can say to stop this mad man 
Play Defender, Centipede and Ms. Pac-Man 
Just like Martin Luther I had a dream 
In a house with no heat, just kerosene 
Call Biz Mark, so you get the better connection 
The type to wear Timbs to a weddin reception 
I'm so smart, I even got a GED 
Plus a vide-oh-oh, BET, and MTV 
I'm the best thing out now go ask your moms 
Spendin money on cars just to pass the time 

[Chorus] 
Four chicken wings with shrimp fried rice, that's good 
[scratch: "Egg foo yung"] 
Beef and broccoli with a little white rice, that's good 
[scratch: "Fried one time"] 
Chicken chow mein with a little white rice, that's good 
[sample: "Mix it mix it up nice"] 
I need a couple of egg rolls in my neighborhood, that's good

Ummmm, what?  The verse itself is completely nonsensical, which makes it even more astonishing that he was able to come up with a chorus that makes even less sense.  It saddens me to say it, but I think I might just be too white to ever understand what he's going for here.  When Wu-Tang came out with the epic "Ice Cream" many years ago, I was at least with it enough to know that the Clan had simply come up with a hilariously clever and sexist way of referring to different types of women - who, by the way, come in only four varieties, each of which is primarly characterized by their skin color.  But this one by Biz Markie completely baffles me.

"Someone actually paid me to write this song."

In fact, the only place in the entire song other than the chorus where anything Chinese is mentioned is in this incredibly eloquent and touching introduction:

Yo, you know this is.. FON-KAY 

I'd like to say rest in peace, to Aaliyah (sweet thing) 
And 'Left Eye' Lopez 
But, you know, shout out to my man Bruce Lee 
Jackie Chan, check it out, Jet Li 

So, there you have it.  Two long-dead former female rap stars, a long-dead martial arts film star, a washed-up martial arts film star, and a martial arts film star that most people know simply as "that guy who did the movie with DMX, I think."  Add that up and what do you get?  Chinese food??

Is this a shot from the movie, or an actual shot of DMX running from the police?  You tell me.

Way to thrown it down, Biz.  You've proven once again that nobody beats you.

*That's "chinese food" three times in one sentence.  Also, chinese food!